91071

Joke of the Day

"In the style of Mitch Hedberg. I don't like fish eggs on my sushi... ...because I'm against abortion"

"People always demand to know who farted as if they'll decide how disgusted to be based on who's responsible."

"Nudist's have the right idea.. Screw laundry!"

"Wife: Valentine's day is right around the corner. Me: No worries, so is Wal-Mart."

"So I went to a feminist picnic the other day. It was great, but no one would make me a sandwich."

"*adds 'memory loss' to Symptoms* *adds 'memory loss' to Symptoms* *adds 'memory loss' to Symptoms* *adds 'memory loss' to Symptoms*"

"I wonder who I'll be racist against when I'm elderly. I hope it's robots!!"

"""Why is there a Women's Studies Major, but not a Men's Studies Major"" ""There is a Men's Studies major, its called history"""

"Quitting twitter is the adult version of running away from home. We ALL know you're doing it for attention and we ALL know you'll be back."

"Comas make a big difference in a sentence. For example: Ben is in a hurry Ben is in a coma"