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Joke of the Day
"Guess what my Valentine gave me? Carpal Tunnel..."
Next Joke
"How do you fix the dishwasher? Smack her."
"What is the difference between a dollar and Lebron James? Lebron James doesnt give you 4 quarters. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oShTJ90fC34"
"who is Godzilla's least favorite relative? his MOTHRA-IN-LAW"
"a cute girl stopped behind my laptop as I was full screen on a pic of bread and I didn't know what to say so I stammered out ""I like bread"""
"How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!"
"Saying ""excape ""makes me wanna stab you in the ""exophagus""."
"[waving hands and chasing down ice cream truck] Hey! ""What'll it be?"" [out of breath] Nothing. Just wanted to tell you I'm vegan"
"Tell me you love me. Then get in the kitchen, make me a sandwich and let me play my video games so I know it's real"
"So I was listening to some old-school French rap the other day I think the group was called the Oui-Tang Clan"