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Joke of the Day

"Tell me you love me. Then get in the kitchen, make me a sandwich and let me play my video games so I know it's real"

"As a doctor, I once had to remove the spine of a pirate He was all for it and said ""It was holding me back"""

"You put 2 fingers in... Maybe 3 if it's big enough... Oh yeah.... Now that's how you wash a mug."

"I invented something to keep the inside of my car quiet. It fits right over her mouth."

"I'd like to buy a new boomerang please. Also, can you tell me how to throw the old one away?"

"Ash enters battle with his pikachu Ash:""Pikachu use thunder bolt"" Pikachu: ""Your dad is paying the electricity bill?"""

"[home depot] employee[yelling]: YOU CAN'T DO THAT IN HERE me: [yelling over the sound of revving chainsaw]: WHAT"

"A Mexican Magician says he will disappear on the count of three... He starts counting ""uno... dos.."" and *poof* he disappeared without a tres."

"What tastes great on pie but bad on pussy? Crust"

"What is Dracula's favorite fruit? Neck-tarines."