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Joke of the Day

"a cute girl stopped behind my laptop as I was full screen on a pic of bread and I didn't know what to say so I stammered out ""I like bread"""

"A hard thing about a business is minding your own."

"There are now five cup sizes at Starbucks: Short, Tall, Grande, Venti, and Chuck Norris."

"When I see you, I'm a 10... On the [Mohs scale](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mohs_scale_of_mineral_hardness#Minerals)."

"What do you call a compliant volcano? A volcayes."

"911 maybe too soon What's the difference between 911 and landscaping. Landscaping is an outside job sorry in advance ps I was the original poster of this"

"When you are dead, you don't know you are dead. It's painful only for others. It's the same for if you are stupid."

"""Read 'em and weep"" I say as I lay down my hand: a collection of my grandparent's handwritten love letters from WWII."

"Where do Mexicans shop for books? Borders"

"Teeth are so weird. Imagine if all of our bones were exposed and we had to brush them."