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Joke of the Day

"A Jew walks into a bar... ...and leaves"

"Vagina jokes are not funny... Period."

"The only entities which will survive a nuclear holocaust will be the c**kroaches and a book packed by Flipkart."

"Thanks for putting your kid on the phone so he could say hi. It changed my life."

"If Russia tried to take Turkey from behind... ... do you think Greece would help ?"

"Guinea Pig When I was five years old, my teacher asked me if I wanted to take the school guinea pig home. Seven months later, I arrived in the African republic of Guinea."

"5-year-old: I can't finish my lunch. I don't feel good. Me: OK, then no ice cream. 5-year-old: I'm sick, not dead."

"[phone w/ son while in bank thats being robbed] in case this goes bad, go to google on the iPad and delete ""can owls fly"" before mom sees it"

"If I had a fake leg it would be a see-thru plastic one full of jelly beans and I'd only charge kids a dime for a handful like the old days."

"Jared Leto's primary preparation for his role as the Joker was changing his middle name to Stil"