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Joke of the Day

"The University of Alabama is the only place... where Ancestry.com and eHarmony are one and the same."

"What if Stephen Hawking Is the real Slim Shady but he can't stand up"

"What do you get if you cross history and a cow? A moo-suem."

"What did one deer say to the other after leaving the bar? I can't believe you just blew 50 bucks in there"

"What do you call a stupid ant? Antwerp."

"Me: Shout out to all my homies! Homies: Stop shouting at us."

"Velcro. It's a rip off."

"Hey, people who don't properly re-seal your half empty bags of potato chips... what's it like eating spider eggs?"

"Ghost: never eats, never sleeps, moans a lot Vampire: sucks the life out of u Werewolf: human w/ fits of howling Child: all of the above"

"I can make you speak even MORE Irish. Say this five times fast: ""Your fork can eat jet."""