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Joke of the Day

"Hey, people who don't properly re-seal your half empty bags of potato chips... what's it like eating spider eggs?"

"*Takes off clothes *Enters meeting room naked *Coworkers gasp in horror *Slowly backs out of room [whispers] ""you said debriefing"""

"Honestly some folk will take offense at anything. I met a bloke with no legs this morning at the Bus Stop. All I asked was ""How you getting on?"""

"15 year olds be like I remember 9/11"

"Just wrote a song about making sandwiches using tortillas. ... Well, it's more of a rap..."

"I use to have a soap addiction... But I'm clean now"

"A little girl asked her father ""Daddy? Do all Fairy Tales begin with Once Upon A Time?"" And he replied ""No there is a whole series of Fairy Tales that begin with 'If Elected I promise...'"""

"If Earth was a rented apartment, ain't NOOOO WAAAAAY we're getting our security deposit back."

"What's the difference between drunk people and black people? Drunk people are found **IN** bars. Black people are found **BEHIND** them."

"If you find yourself in conversation with a stutterer, it is best to shout out ""Reeeeeemix"" and scratch at invisible turntables."