194683

Joke of the Day

"That awkward moment when you're supposed to be cleaning your room and you put on music and it turns into a dance party for one."

"Please. Old people. When you comment on a Facebook pic you don't need to end with Love, James. WE CAN SEE YOUR NAME YOU'RE NOT AN OSTRICH"

"Girl, did it hurt...when you fell from heaven? *smooshed girl bobs away making accordion sounds*"

"Why did the cookie not laugh at your joke? Because it was crumby."

"All dogs go to heaven... But all snakes are athe-hissssssssssts"

"Why didn't the man report his stolen credit card? The thief was spending less then his wife."

"I consider anything that doesn't fit in the dishwasher to be for one time use."

"what did they call the Mexican after losing a finger minus juan"

"Why do people think Saint Stephen was a marijuana addict? He was stoned to death."

"What is the difference between your wife and your job? 5 years later your job will still suck."