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Joke of the Day

"Please. Old people. When you comment on a Facebook pic you don't need to end with Love, James. WE CAN SEE YOUR NAME YOU'RE NOT AN OSTRICH"

"I'm just a boy, standing in front of the toilet paper aisle, trying to decide whether I want to wipe with a pillow, a cloud, or a kitten."

"What do you call someone with no shins? Tony"

"Accidentally walked into a mosque ""This isn't where I'm supposed to *be headed*"""

"What is the definition of a goose ? An animal that grows down as it grows up !"

"I can't believe rattlesnake warnings are called rattles and not cautionary tails"

"Butterfly Ass and Other Smells As Told by the Dog"

"Why did the veggie band sound horrible live? Because they were missing a beet."

"Making reservations for one at a fancy restaurant because every now and then, I like to be wined and dined before I take advantage of myself"

"I'm American and I'm sick of people saying America is the stupidest country in the world... Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world."