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Joke of the Day
"I consider anything that doesn't fit in the dishwasher to be for one time use."
Next Joke
"I introduced my girlfriend to the family Me: hello everyone, meet Jasmine Jasmine: Hi Wife: what the fuck"
"Poker Face. But I barely know her!"
"I got Arnold Schwarzenegger into Baroque music... He'll be Bach."
"Before going to your partner's parents' house for the 1st time, it's very important to ask ""How much Jesus stuff can I expect to see?"""
"I had a thought the other day Losing 15 pounds sounds a lot better in America than in England."
"Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you left him."
"if your grave doesnt say ""rest in peace"" on it you are automatically drafted into the skeleton war"
"The sexy 21yr old woman that lives nextdoor to me just knocked on my door and accused me of stealing underwear from her washing line... ...i almost shit her pants!"
"Two owls were playing pool. One said ""Two hits."" The other replied ""Two hits to who?"""