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Joke of the Day

"I bought a nice 12 year old scotch yesterday. His parents weren't pleased."

"Ran into my ex gf today... I put it in reverse and hit her again"

"What's the difference between jam and jelly? I can't jelly my dick up your ass."

"Why is Oedipus against swearing? He kisses his mother with that mouth!"

"So I got the new Note 7 and I don't see what the fuss is about exploding? Everything is going fi"

"Sometimes I wish I was like my calendar, it always has dates."

"Ever notice how loud the sound of a beer can opening up is at the gym."

"Dudes named Chance never had one."

"I went into the changing room in a clothing store several times... But it stayed the same."

"Why do writers hate the bible? It has terrible characters, Noah is the only one with an arc."