194

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip-off."

"Daylight Saving Time starts this evening, turn your clocks forward and change smoke alarm batteries before going to bed tonight."

"Rey should really make herself a new lightsaber. The one she has now has 100% hand loss rate. \\\_()_/ "

"What is a pirate's favorite pokemon? Arrrriados"

"I wanted to tell you a joke about selfishness. But I'll keep this one for myself."

"My teacher told me to tuck my shirt in. I said, ""Why?"" ""Because it *looks* like you've just had sex,"" he said, zipping his trousers."

"What did they call the man who knew how to read maps? A legend"

"Yeah that chicken's free range. I just freed that shit onto my range. Some in the oven too."

"I made up a word today! Plagiarism."

"The older I get, the more I feel like the town elders in Footloose were actually pretty cool."