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Joke of the Day

"Do these Daisy Dukes make my trash look White?"

"Every man has two heads... One holds the brain, and the other makes all the decisions."

"Who makes the lemonade at a hospital? A Fizzy-o-Therapist."

"I used to be a senile UPS worker Shit I messed up the delivery"

"What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts cost $1.50, while deer nuts are under a buck."

"What do you do for a living? I herd cattle. Ah, you're a rancher? No, I'm a Zumba instructor."

"I figured I'd just think of a punch line and then try to make a joke out of it. What did the comedian say when asked how he came up with his last joke?"

"What do my tastes in food and pornography have in common? I prefer the kind with fruits and vegetables."

"I seemed to have lost all my vegetable puns I hope they turnip somewhere"

"3. That's how many times you have to ask someone if they're grumpy before they get grumpy."