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Joke of the Day

"I bought some shoes from a drug dealer I don't know what they were laced with, but I've been tripping all day."

"Sometimes a special someone walks right into your life and helps you realize how much better your life was before they walked into it."

"What is it called when a gamer fights someone? An Asthma attack."

"A girl said she has seen me in a vegetarian meeting... I told her I have never met herbivore"

"When a woman asks you to guess her age, it's like deciding whether to cut the blue, red, or green wire to diffuse a bomb."

"What do you call a group of slow extremist Muslim Dr Who fans? Tardis..... I will see myself out.."

"What's the only thing that grows in Ferguson? The crime rate."

"Me: Help someone is trying to gain entry to my home, send the police! Her: Calm down, where are they now? Me: Still ringing the doorbell"

"Where do Peek-a-boo patients go? The ICU."

"Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb twice."