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Joke of the Day

"I tested positive for optimism."

"I think I have hit rock bottom in my life. Do you know where I can buy some new tacks?"

"Have you noticed that the ""&"" symbol looks like a guy dragging his ass across the floor?"

"Why was jesus bad at COD He respawns after 2 days"

"Weed strin humor At the dispensary there is a strain called Aldous Huxley. If you smoke it with your wife she becomes sterile. #LegalWeedJokes"

"I lost my job performing circumcisions I just couldn't cut it."

"Why do they say ""break a leg !"" to actors ? If you said ""tear an ACL !"" to a star athlete, you'd be shot on the spot."

"I'm going to swallow a jack-in-the-box so that when they do an autopsyBOING, surprise!"

"Just remember ...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off."

"I have the body of a 25-year-old girl, a 25-year-old who has recently been eaten by a 40-year-old bear."