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Joke of the Day

"Bernie Sanders to cut the BS Now wants to be called Ernie Anders"

"[pitching movie] ""It's Titanic..."" Go on ""from the iceberg's perspective"" holy shit"

"There are probably fewer bees around now because a lot of them are still in prison for murdering Macaulay Culkin in My Girl"

"What's the difference between Hitler and Michael Phelps? Phelps can finish a race."

"I don't mean to brag but I just beat my 5-year-old ten times in a row at air hockey. He sucks."

"What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese!"

"An Apple store near where I live got robbed $25k worth of merchandise was stolen. The police said that they will get both computers back."

"What was the suicide bomber greeted by in the afterlife? A group of 40 other suicide bombers."

"Why was the Robot angry at the engineer? Because he screwed his wife!"

"I heard there's this amazing place underground... ...where you can have sex with miners."