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Joke of the Day

"It's been a rough morning. Picked up my coffee, handle came off. Put on a shirt, button came off. Grabbed my tool box, handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom!"

"I'm fearfully awaiting the day my alarm clock becomes self-aware and the snooze button hits me back."

"A black lady named Betty walks into a butcher shop that's always running out of things and ask for some beef The butcher replies ""No black Betty, ham or lamb?"""

"Hello I like you I could see myself shutting up for a second and listening to your words"

"Did you hear about the suicide bomber that became a Youtube sensation? He never thought he'd blow up like this."

"Sneaking up on me from behind while I'm doing dishes is a super fun way to get yourself stabbed with a steak knife"

"So I Went to the doctor And he told me to quit masturbating. I said ""whys that?"" He said ""Because you're in my office"""

"[Request] Girls names and bike parts puns I can only think of IsaBELL anyone have any good ones? (Sorry if requests aren't allowed in this subreddit just delete if necessary!)"

"I asked a guy if he knew what the chemical formula was for Sodium Bromate... He said NaBrO3"

"If you're a copyright attorney and your slogan isn't ""Carpe TM,"" go fuck yourself."