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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a chicken with lettuce in its eyes? Chicken ceaser salad."

"The only relative I want to see at my door is Papa John."

"[pulling the casket a few inches away from the wall during a funeral] sorry just need to plug in my phone for a minute"

"Dam's biggest dilemma... Dammed if I do, damned if I don't."

"Clueless boyfriend walks into publix to buy condoms. Can't find them. Finally goes in the right aisle. Proceeds to have sex. Publix: where shopping is a pleasure... ...or lack there of."

"Q: How many Chuck Norris' does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, Chuck Norris prefers to kill in the dark."

"What do you think goes through a spiders mind when you hit it with a hammer? His ass."

"How to be part of a joke? One must simply walk into a bar"

"I've decided to take the day off today. I'm just going to call it to."

"""Sit down. I've got some bad news."" (Every Milkman's boss 30 years ago)"