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Joke of the Day

"There's an Irishman, a Jew, and a homosexual standing at a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community."

"Jeremy Clarkson decided not to stay with Top Gear, but James May"

"Whenever I go to McDonalds, they always ask me ""What can I get you?"" and I always say ""Give me a second."" And they always give me the number two."

"Why didn't the TSA let the chair through security? It was armed."

"I want to open a drinking establishment without any furniture. It'll be the best around, Bar None."

"What does going down on an old woman and a pork pie have in common? You have to bite the crust and lick out the jelly before you get the meaty bit."

"Did you hear about the new transgender operation? It's called a strapadictomy"

"I leave notes around the house to remind me of things I need to do, like ""Pick up milk"" or ""Pay gas bill"" or ""Stop wasting your life away"""

"Why would the Queen let Netflix use her likeness in ""The Crown""? She probably gets royalties"

"I'm a social person. I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why."