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Joke of the Day

"Jeremy Clarkson decided not to stay with Top Gear, but James May"

"I was dating an English teacher, but she dumped me.... She didn't approve of my improper use of the colon."

"If a giant capture you and me and made a smoothie out of us, what would it taste like? It would taste like ""just us""."

"Did you hear about the obese millionaire? He has a four chin."

"Maybe I have a bunny in my pants, maybe that's why I'm putting this salad in my pockets, you don't know me."

"More Wisdom from Confucius Man who goes to bed with itchy butt, usually wakes up with stinky fingers. Man who stands on toilet is high on pot."

"Election Day Drinking Game: Every time Donald Trump is elected President, we all drink and just never stop."

"Hockey: because running on knives makes sense."

"Margaret Thatcher died?? And more importantly, Margaret Thatcher was still alive??!!"

"Bill Gates walks into a Apple Store.... and as he is looking at the ipad he farts. He takes a whiff and says to an employee, you need to buy some windows."