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Joke of the Day

"Whenever I go to McDonalds, they always ask me ""What can I get you?"" and I always say ""Give me a second."" And they always give me the number two."

"What did the elephant say to the naked man ""How do you breath through that thing?!"""

"A priest ,a rabbi and a homeless man walk into a bar.. The homeless man order a beer while the rabbi and priest do jager bombs . Who's gonna pick up the tab?"

"Americans are getting stronger. Fifty years ago, it took two people to carry twenty dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it."

"Instead of washing your hands after going to the toilet Just give your cock a good clean in the morning. Badly remembered Jimmy Carr joke."

"[In cubicle at work] *pretends to start clipping my nails* *tosses uncooked grains of rice onto co-workers desk with each clip* CW: WTF!"

"I don't believe in gender equality because there are just some things I'm not meant to do. Like be the sane one in a relationship."

"How do you find Will Smith in a snow storm? Just check for fresh prince"

"How many dancers does it take to change a Light bulb ? 5,6,7,8."

"Whats the point of calling it ""secret Santa""? Everyone knows that the person who gave you the gift is Santa."