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Joke of the Day

"I have an irrational fear of over-engineered buildings. I have a complex complex complex"

"MURDERER: [looking for me] You better of hidden well or you're dead ME: [under bed, tears in my eyes] It's better HAVE"

"I know how Jenny got her name. Follow this link en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jenny_%28donkey%29"

"What's Chris Browns favorite sport? Sockher!"

"It would be terrible to be blind and get cancer. You would never see it coming."

"Dirty thoughts... the life of a gardener."

"I promise to never take you for granted... unless we are shopping for counter tops."

"[cruising down highway in friend's car with windows down] me: [opens bag of glitter]"

"I was cornered in an alley way by a German holding a sausage I looked him straight in the eyes and bravely said ""go on, do your wurst"""

"Did you hear about the stupid snake? He lost his skin."