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Joke of the Day

"They say the average man thinks about sex every 6 seconds That's why I try to eat hotdogs in 5"

"4: *hops in my lap* Mama, look at my picture! Me: Love it 4: See green M: Yep 4: And blue M: Mmhm 4: And red M: *flushes toilet* ok, hop up."

"When Chumlee gets out of prison he should do a show with Jared from Subway. They should call it... Child Pawn."

"'Why are you crying Ted ?' asked his mum. 'Because my new sneakers hurt.' 'That's because you have put them on the wrong feet.' 'But they are the only feet I have.'"

"What does a doctor say to the new father of a stillborn child? Close, but no cigar."

"My friend asked me to make a joke about Yttrium. All I had to say was ""Why?"""

"Did you hear about the constipated chancellor? He couldn't budge it :P"

"One of my terrorist friends decided to bomb our only good coffee machine in all of Yemen... Pissed as hell, he said he hates french press"

"Why do Mexicans love six flags ... Because they can get a abortion and go on rides"

"I could tell you a joke about TCP.... But I'd have to keep repeating it until you got it."