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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the constipated chancellor? He couldn't budge it :P"
Next Joke
"what did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend... wiped his arse"
"I can't believe I forgot to go to the gym today.... I can't believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That's 7 years in a row now."
"I'm glad the Dentist calls me the day before to remind me to cancel my appointment."
"Men used to slay dragons, and here I am shuffling around like a penguin with my pants around my ankles looking for extra toilet paper."
"""If I had a Hi Fi"" - the next single by The Palindromes."
"I spent over an hour at my wife's grave yesterday... whew, that was the longest I've ever lasted"
"I hope Elon Musk never gets in a scandal Because Elongate would be really drawn out."
"A recent medical study shows that women who carry a little extra weight generally live longer than the men in their lives who mention it."
"If I had to guess at the religion of Daniel Day Lewis... I would probably have to say Methodist   [What are the rules of Daniel Day Lewis?!](http://imgur.com/gallery/NDOov4L)"