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Joke of the Day

"I wish I could be like Wall Street Seems to be in bed with a lot of people these days!"

"The wife said she's leaving me because she's sick of doing absolutely EVERYTHING for me. If you're wondering why she's typed everything' in capitals,it's to emphasize the point."

"A friend told me this one. What's the difference between Windows 8.1 and Windows 10? The start menu."

"Oprah just came out with a line of vibrators They're called ""the O""."

"How do you titillate an ocelot? You oscillate its tit-alot"

"At least you'll be able to watch Jeremy Clarkson on Dave for the next 12 years."

"How'm I going to 80's montage myself out of this one?"

"My sister teaches 1st grade. A boy in her class had a tantrum and screamed ""I hate you!"" and she gently replied ""I know. It doesn't matter."""

"I think I want a job cleaning mirrors... ...it's just something I can see myself doing."

"I have a feeling drinking Coke all these years is probably more detrimental to polar bears than global warming."