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Joke of the Day

"My sister teaches 1st grade. A boy in her class had a tantrum and screamed ""I hate you!"" and she gently replied ""I know. It doesn't matter."""

"BREAKING: Clint Eastwood visits the Vatican to talk to the empty chair."

"What did the suspenders say to the trousers? What's up, britches?!"

"an owl mistook my man bun for a sleeping hamster again today"

"It's colder than..."

"Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make... Then they call me ugly and poor."

"Gave up on my dream of being a murderer a long time ago. I leave long hair everywhere & everyone knows its mine without doing a DNA test."

"Tad looked up from the book on ancient history he was reading and asked his father ""Pop what's a millennium?"" ""Well"" he muttered ""I think it's something like a centennial only it has more legs!"""

"Wanna hear a joke about my dick? Never mind, its too long."

"What's the difference between pedophile and acne? Acne waits till puberty to come all over the kids face"