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Joke of the Day

"Just got bit by a black widow... People are fucking crazy."

Next Joke
 
"Girl, is your name ""Schedule"" ? Because I'm always running behind ya."
"Where does a guru get his sandwiches? New Delhi"
"My genes put the XY in sexy"
"I ate cereal for dinner because I do what I want. I'm an adult. Oh did I say adult? I meant poor. It's because I'm poor."
"Guess what? Dickbutt"
"Netflix is making a documentary on the upcoming presidential inauguration. They're calling it ""Orange is the New Black""."
"[feeding baby Malaysian food] ""Here comes the plane"" *makes plane noises* *spoon just disappears*"
"I just dropped a fart that sounded like I got the wrong answer on a game show."
"It would be a fun surprise if Jay-Z said he finished laying down some tracks and when you went outside there was a railroad."