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Joke of the Day

"Netflix is making a documentary on the upcoming presidential inauguration. They're calling it ""Orange is the New Black""."

"My friend got fired from his banking job... because he lost interest."

"I'v been catfishing my best friend Dave for the last 3 weeks. He's gunna pay me that $50 he owes me or I'm showing these emails to his wife."

"I think Lady Gaga's next outfit should be made of spaghetti... If that's *pastable*"

"Why they never refuel in Fast and Furious? Vin Diesel"

"I secretly gave our Waffle House waitress a $100 tip and my family can't figure out why she's crying & hugging me & trying to get in our car"

"How do fallopian tubes like there eggs in the morning?? Ovary-sy"

"""Shit, I have to go."" - Yoda, Jedi Master Humorist, iChat"

"I like my women the way... I like my wine...12 years old and in the cellar."

"I didn't know you could get paid for donating sperm. When I think of all the money I've let slip through my fingers..."