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Joke of the Day

"[feeding baby Malaysian food] ""Here comes the plane"" *makes plane noises* *spoon just disappears*"

"Trying to screw with my friend by making him into a meme Please Share this. https://imgflip.com/i/p7bm5"

"What did the super spy polyatomic ion say when he walked into the bar? The name's Bond, Covalent Bond"

"My friend got jailed 6 months for pulling 4 people out of a burning building. Turns out they were firefighters."

"Don't follow Rockin Robin on twitter Apparently all he does is tweet tweet tweet"

"[Dirty] What do you call a tear in the American flag? An old glory hole."

"SexyButtPotato So somebody has been uploading my nudes from when I was a teen... Makes me mildly uncomfortable. http://imgur.com/5Gd9VUI"

"Who drives away all his customers ? A taxi driver."

"Someone tried to sell me a coffin today. I told him that's the last thing I need."

"Of course Jesus saves. He's Jewish."