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Joke of the Day
"Girl, is your name ""Schedule"" ? Because I'm always running behind ya."
Next Joke
"[Brings date home] O geez did I leave all my rare, holographic Pokemon cards out on my bed again? Guess we'll just have to lay here & battle"
"I have 2 donuts: a secular one and a religious one. The secular one is solid. The religious one is holey."
"Who's your friend?"
"In case of a zombie apocalypse, I'm surrounding my house with treadmills."
"Why did the Addams have the late man arrested? He was expected on Tuesday, but he came on Wednesday."
"Yo mama so fat she goes to a resturant looks at the menu and says ""okay!"""
"Italian WWII Tank for Sale It has 5 speeds; 4 are reverse."
"My wife CLAIMS to be my best friend but she didn't seemed all that psyched when I bragged about this girl at work I just made out with."
"Girlfriend: Have you ever been with a fat chick? Me: Nope, you're the first one. Gf: What? Me: What?"