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Joke of the Day

"Why is it whenever we see a police car, we drive like we have 10 kilos of cocaine and a stolen baby in the car?"

"A dentist recently had to pull some teeth The pain was bad enough, but when they told me I would have to drink directly from the glass for a whole day, that was the last straw."

"I wonder who is being John Malkovich right now."

"The Chicago Cubs"

"Next time my 5 y/o says ""Daddy, guess what?"", I'm going to refuse to let her continue until I can actually guess, even if it takes 7 years."

"I don't get why the people in the twin towers were upset on 9/11... I mean, the workers did get razes."

"Did you hear about the stupid snake? He lost his skin."

"Never understood Monopoly. It's like saying, ""Hey we're stressed out about real $, so let's play a game & get stressed out about pretend $."

"What's long and hard and screws people? An exam."

"A mentally ill man shot himself in the head as a suicide attempt. The bullet cured his disorder and he became a straight-A college student."