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Joke of the Day

"A dentist recently had to pull some teeth The pain was bad enough, but when they told me I would have to drink directly from the glass for a whole day, that was the last straw."

"In 1969 we put a man on the moon... In 2016 we put a man in the ladies restroom."

"At Christmas, it's important to pause and remember all those who have wronged you this year and how you can wreak vengeance on them in 2017"

"How do you describe a boring, Asian, black and white film? Anti-chromactic"

"A man threw milk at an old woman before... I said how dairy"

"Weird, it almost feels like the drive thru workers at McDonald's are being more judgemental of my choices than I am of theirs."

"Where is the most extravagant brothel in Switzerland, with the most expensive hookers? The FIFA headquarters."

"I don't play guitar, but I sure would pluck your G-string."

"I always bring in a dozen donuts to work the first day after the New Year, just for my coworkers on a diet."

"My buddy asked me what self explanatory meant... I didn't know what to say."