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Joke of the Day

"Never understood Monopoly. It's like saying, ""Hey we're stressed out about real $, so let's play a game & get stressed out about pretend $."

"After a year of anal only sex with my girlfriend... You never know what is gonna come through that hole"

"A former boxer decided to go into the writing business There is no punchline."

"What would /u/doubledickdude's band be called? The Tu-Wang Clan"

"As an American, the moment I stop feeling full is the perfect time for a light snack. Or maybe a whole cheesecake or dozen donuts. Whatever."

"Why a woman doesn't make sense to a man... Actually they make 77 cents to a man."

"4yo doctor visit: Doc: no more than 30 mins for 4yo on the iPad. I'd rather he play with mud. Me: .. Wife:.. Me: where do u download mud?"

"The real joke isn't always in the comments Sometimes it's in the Whitehouse..."

"Did you hear about the American Indian who was in a tea drinking contest? They found him the next morning lying in his tea pee."

"Jehovah's Witness I was just wondering...........if a Jehovah's Witness dies and goes to heaven and knocks on heaven's door..... does Saint Peter answer the door or does he hide like the rest of us???"