121945

Joke of the Day

"Next time my 5 y/o says ""Daddy, guess what?"", I'm going to refuse to let her continue until I can actually guess, even if it takes 7 years."

"[david attenborough voice] wolves, also known as nature's best animal, have been cool for hundreds of thousands of years"

"Where do toilets live? Porcel Lane."

"My sister bet me 200 dollars I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti... You should've seen the look on her face as I drove pasta!"

"A man walks into a library and asks for a book on tides. The librarian says, ""I'm sorry sir, that's just gone out."""

"Babies are instinctual swimmers like puppies, right? Kind of need an answer quickly."

"Fat Lady vs Old Maid What is the difference? One is trying to diet, the other is dying to try it!"

"What's orange and sounds like a carrot!!!???? A snowman blowing his nose!!!!!!!!"

"Chuck Norris is in a class of his own. That doesn't implement Comparable. #hacking"

"Chuck Norris already counted up to the infinite... Two times."