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Joke of the Day

"Iran! why?"

"What does Reddit and fat people have in common? A LOT of people don't like them right now"

"A girl couldn't decide which mascara to use Bitch couldn't makeup her mind."

"Not going to any more weddings or funerals. Please keep that in mind, friends who are considering getting married or dying."

"If you can't figure out where you stand with someone, it might be time to stop standing and start walking."

"Damn girl, are you my cable remote? Because you are weirdly designed and very confusing, and does this row of buttons even do anything?"

"I don't like going to the beach. I'm a playa hater."

"What's the difference between a Priest and Acne? Acne waits until you're 13 to come on your face"

"Klondike bars, Hitler did it for one"

"My doctor told me that I had Eczema on my elbow... I told him that was pretty redundant. Eggs on my on my elbow? So much for that PhD. I just hope it goes away before they hatch..."