41045

Joke of the Day

"My doctor told me that I had Eczema on my elbow... I told him that was pretty redundant. Eggs on my on my elbow? So much for that PhD. I just hope it goes away before they hatch..."

"2 little boys are arguing About whose dad has a better job. First says ""mines a Dr."" second says "" well mines a lawyer"" first says in disbelief "" honest? "" second says "" naw the usual kind"""

"There's 4 and a half inches of light snow outside ...or as most the men on Tinder would have me believe, 8 inches and really thick."

"If the British had won, today we'd all be celebrating the Fouurth of July"

"My 6 year old found the duct tape and now nothing in my house moves."

"Light Yagami thought he was going to die on those stairs, but then he woke up the next day... And realized it was just a Near-Death experience."

"Do poodle owners realize they just bought a dog with a shitty 1980s white girl perm?"

"Women fake orgasms to have relationships. Men fake relationships to have orgasms."

"What do you call an epileptic cow? Beef jerky."

"If I have HIV I hope I find out from a Doctor, like Charlie Sheen did And not from the TV, like his ex girlfriends did."