3911

Joke of the Day

"Damn girl, are you my cable remote? Because you are weirdly designed and very confusing, and does this row of buttons even do anything?"

"How do you get two priest to fight to the death? Throw a small boy between them. How do you kill the other you ask? Throw in Michael Jackson."

"My son dropped this gem on me Son: Dad what's a cow plus 2 say? Me: Cow cow? Son: Twwoooooooooo"

"All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening or married to someone else."

"Old Twitter is what you'd get if an engineer brought New Twitter to Steve Jobs, and Steve beat on him relentlessly to simplify it."

"Two guys are talking: (1) - I've bought a tour to my mother-in-law. (2) - Your mother-in-law???!!! (1) - Why not to Bagdad."

"Why so Mexicans have red eyes after Sex?! Pepperspray..."

"you can't please everybody. if you could, you'd probably be pansexual."

"I lost my to-do list I don't know what to do"

"How does a gay male take off his condom? He farts."