191212

Joke of the Day

"My wife told be that I don't understand the concept of irony. Which was ironic because we were in the car at the time."

"If a man talks dirty to a woman, that's sexual harassment. If a woman talks dirty to a man, that'll be $6.50 a minute."

"Q: What is the best way to speak to a ghoul? A: From a long ways away."

"Where do stoners keep their money? In a joint account"

"They were having a sale at the hospital for vasectomies... It was a package deal."

"Relationships are mostly you apologizing for saying something hilarious"

"One day I'd like to donate to the porn industry for all the free porn I've watched. They've gotten me through some hard times."

"when fruit talks Broccoli: Hey, I look like a tree. Mushroom: Wow, I look just like an umbrella. Walnut: I look exactly like a brain. Banana: Man, can we change the topic please?"

"What do the Welsh call a sheep when it's tied to a lamp post? The leisure centre."

"""The Sun is dying. We need help"" the scientists are speechless. Cool Dad kicks in the door & removes his shades ""It's daylight savings time"""