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Joke of the Day
"They were having a sale at the hospital for vasectomies... It was a package deal."
Next Joke
"If you're paddling a canoe up a river and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones."
"Jim ate my sandwich. It was clearly labeled. Jim's email is open on his PC. Jim's son now thinks he's adopted. The sandwich was LABELED."
"Must be confusing for Sean Connery's grandchildren when he asks them to ""Come shit on my lap."""
"You should always choose B) on multiple choice tests because it looks like a cool sunglasses face. That guy knows what he's talking about."
"They should probably have a feature that disables liking horrible statuses on Facebook. Last week 14 people liked that my friend's mom died. I mean, I know she was a bitch, but still."
"I just found out cock fighting is done with roosters and now it feels like this 6 months of training has been wasted."
"How many dank memes does it take to change a lightbulb? Doesn't matter, just use the jet fuel instead."
"So a guy walks into a bar with a gun. Angry he snarled, ""Aight, who the hell boned my wife and mom?"" The bartender shook his head and smiled, ""You don't have enough bullets bud."""
"My goal is to one day make it through an entire p orn movie."