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Joke of the Day

"The iPad 2 will be released on March 11th. Of course, as a celebrity, I'm already using my complimentary iPad 7. The screen touches ME!"

"A shirt so loud, you have to wear ear plugs when you put it on."

"If I don't wake up with Britney Spears' body circa ""I'm a Slave 4 U"" and a rich handsome boyfriend then I KNOW Santa's not real."

"It all The title says it all"

"What is a ghost's favorite type of porn? BOO-kakke"

"Ninja level hiding skills! Why do you never see Hippos hiding up in trees?? Because they are so darn good at it."

"Sorry about your street cred, black guys named Milton."

"What's the square root of sixty-nine? Eight-something!"

"How many pixies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but don't ask me how they got in there."

"I can give you the reason for anaphylactic shock in a nutshell."