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Joke of the Day

"In an alternate universe there is only one movie about falling in love, but thousands about swapping faces with John Travolta."

"S&M A masochist asks a sadist to hurt him, so the sadist doesn't."

"The Worst Journey in the World by Helen Back"

"My dad told me never to explain fashion to Tommy, Hilfiger."

"Because it's funny! What do you call a stripper you pay with noodles? A PASTATUTE!!!"

"The masochist and the sadist. What did the masochist say to the sadist? ""Hit me."" What did the sadist say to the masochist? ""No."""

"What is Dracula's pornstar name? Vlad the Impaler"

"Why is it easy to arrange for private yoga classes with a teacher? They are flexible."

"Tourette's convention rally What do we want?! A CURE FOR TOURETTE!! When do we want it?! CUNT! SHIT! FUCK!"

"Left work, txted wife ""Coming homo."" Then I txted her ""Haha whoops, I meant BEcoming homo."""