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Joke of the Day

"Sober me will always have your back.Drunk me will convince you to get a tattoo of a unicorn doing a dolphin over a rainbow on your back."

"I've decided to sell the vacuum... It's just collecting dust. Credit to Codsworth"

"Bugs Bunny goes to the doctors and the doctor sees him on his phone and asks him, ""What are you doing on your phone?"" Bugs Bunny replies, ""Eh, Whatsapp Doc."""

"What's Hitler's favourite VW? A Golf"

"I can't imagine the difficulties of growing up with 2 gay dads double the dad jokes."

"My doctor sang this to me at my birthday ""Happy birthday to you. You live in a zoo. You have terminal cancer. Your family'll miss you"""

"Let's get a thread of jokes that are funny to hear, but don't work if you read them I'll start: What do you call a fish with no eyes? fsh!"

"Unless life also hands you sugar and water, your lemonade is gonna suck."

"I was reminiscing at my old school's library... looking back at my shelf."

"Why a fruit doesn't walk? Because fruit flies"