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Joke of the Day

"Why does Oedipus hate to swear? Because he kisses his mother with that mouth"

"I accidentally dropped my girlfriends epilepsy medication in the washing machine... ...now her clothes don't fit anymore"

"What happens when you cross Elton John and a sabre tooth tiger? I don't know, but you better keep it away from your ass! (Credit: Kenny Hotz)"

"I'm pretty sure Jesus was Italian Because only an Italian mother could think her son was a god. And only an Italian son could think his mother was a virgin."

"Wife has 5 hours to live Doctor: I am sorry, your wife is with us for only 5 more hours. Husband: No need to be sorry. I have survived 20 years of marriage.. what's 5 more hours!"

"What bees makes the best milk ? Boob-bees And also this is my first time using Reddit and my account is only 30 minutes old by the time of this post so I have no idea what I am doing"

"Based on his ability to hide poop, my cat would be the worst criminal of all time."

"What is Poseidon's favourite shortcut? ctrl + C"

"I'll be going to my friend's Halloween party as a trapped Chilean miner unable to go to a friend's Halloween party."

"I hired a golf pro to tell me what's wrong with my tee shots He said I was standing too close to the ball, after I hit it."