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Joke of the Day

"My doctor sang this to me at my birthday ""Happy birthday to you. You live in a zoo. You have terminal cancer. Your family'll miss you"""

"I hate this place, as soon as I find my clothes, I am leaving."

"What does Iraq and Bristol Palin have in common? Both of them are hard to pull out of."

"Why did the plane crash into the ocean? The pilot was a loaf of bread"

"Why is it that whenever you complement someone on their mustache... suddenly she's not your friend anymore?"

"Why did the groom want his bride to wear white? He wanted his new dish washer to match his fridge."

"Q: How do you stop a French tank? A: Shoot the guy that's pushing it!"

"What do you call a dachshund with no hind legs and balls of steel? Sparky."

"She left me a note, on the fridge... ""It's not working anymore, I'm leaving you"". I opened up the fridge and it is working. She left me for nothing, that idiot."

"I hope this magician is good [curtain rises to reveal a man with no goatee] get your coats, children. that man is a fraud."