190921

Joke of the Day

"When I was a little boy, my dad taught me that any little boy or girl, even me, could grow up and become President someday... I'm starting to believe him."

"What is quivering at the bottom of the ocean? A nervous wreck."

"I was on a date with a girl and she said ""did you notice my finger nails?"" And I was like ""yes"" and she was like ""well I have no arms"""

"What do you get when you add human DNA with goat DNA I don't know but I was kicked out of the petting zoo.."

"My wife said she wanted to have sex in the backseat of the car and she wanted me to drive -The late Rodney Dangerfield (1921-2004)"

"Women and farting... Why do women hardly ever fart... Because they don't shut their mouth long enough to build up any pressure."

"What's a pirate's favourite type of weaponry? It's ARRRtillery! bonus: A pirate's favourite melee weapon? A scimitARRR"

"What's the difference between a well dressed man on a bicycle, and a poorly dressed man on a tricycle? A tire!"

"After all of the screaming I've done, you'd think that this roach would give it up and WANT to die."

"YO MAMA IS SO FAT WHEN YOU GO AROUND HER YOU GET LOST!"