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Joke of the Day

"My wife said she wanted to have sex in the backseat of the car and she wanted me to drive -The late Rodney Dangerfield (1921-2004)"

"What do elves learn in school? The Elf-abet! "

"What is better than coming second in the Special Olympics? Not being retarded. Sorry guys. Poor taste. But it is what it is."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Because It wanted to come before the egg."

"What do you get when you place a Russian leader on a cracker? Putin on the Ritz."

"Why was the floppy disk self-conscious? Because it was FAT."

"What is Minion's favourite brand? Banana Republic~BA~NA~~NA~~~"

"""Poop fast and they'll think u only peed."" -advice I give my kids."

"A guy walks into a doctor's office... ...with corn in his ears, a carrot shoved up his nose and a potato in his butt. Doctor says, ""Buddy, you're not eating right..."""

"Hello, Atheist Ghostbusters? Yes? I have a ghost in my bathroom. No, you don't. Oh, right. Thanks so much! That's why we're here."