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Joke of the Day
"I'm so horny... I going to beat my dick like it owed me money"
Next Joke
"Why did Dave Mirra cross the road? To go to the Gun Store!!"
"[God wakes up] oh man i am hungover, what'd i do last night? [sees that goats have the ability to scream now] haha oh yea"
"A Martini is like a woman's breast... One is not enough, and three is too many."
"What sound does a bloated dead horse make when you beat it? If you're still waiting for a punchline, why are you here?"
"What a coincidence. My state of the unit address focuses on jobs as well."
"You haven't seen true happiness until you've looked into the face of a white person when The Cha Cha Slide comes on at a wedding."
"What did the psychopathic dry cleaner say to his victims? DYE, DYE , DYEEEEEEE!"
"People who say they are ""comfortable in their own skin,"" scare me because I wonder how they know what it's like to wear someone else's skin"
"Oh, you want me to watch everything you have in less than the one-month free trial period? Challenge accepted, Netflix."