191930

Joke of the Day

"What did the psychopathic dry cleaner say to his victims? DYE, DYE , DYEEEEEEE!"

"How do aliens pay for their coffees? With Starbucks!"

"What's the difference between Justin Bieber and Pinocchio? Some day, Pinocchio's going to be a real boy."

"Just for fun they should have the next Olympics in Ireland so they can call it the O'lympics."

"Being an ice cream delivery guy must be a cool job."

"My dog is so excited about me washing the car that I'm starting to think he borrows it while I'm asleep"

"Life has never given me lemons It has given me anger issues, anxiety, stress, a love for alcohol, and a serious dislike for stupid people"

"So my new Quantum Computer finally arrived today... ...inside the box, all I found was a dead cat :("

"A prisoner got out of his cell. Warden : Close all the exits. after 10 minutes the prisoner escaped Warden : How the hell did he escaped? Guard : He went through the entrance."

"So I asked my friend, ""I hear your husband applied for a position in the government"" Me:""What is he doing now?"" Friend: ""Nothing"" Me: ""But I thought he got the job!?"" Friend: ""Yes he did."""