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Joke of the Day

"Oh, you want me to watch everything you have in less than the one-month free trial period? Challenge accepted, Netflix."

"Muslims are so open minded when it comes to politics They believe in the separation of church and state !"

"Boss: Just spend the company's money with the same discretion as you would your own. Me: I understand. *bankrupts the company"

"Whenever I work out, I wear a push-up bra so I can do more push-ups. If I didn't, it'd be so embarrassing and people would laugh at me."

"I once told a chemistry joke There was no reaction"

"Two assholes talking One says: hey, you wanna fart? The other says: sorry mate, I gotta run"

"[At the coroners' to identify a body] Me: ""Yep. That's a body all right."""

"So ladies, Oscar Pistorius is single... and he is ..."

"What do you call a cow with three legs? Tri-tip. What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef. What do you call a cow with one leg? Steak. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef."

"What is the Greek Army's motto? Never leave your buddy's behind."