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Joke of the Day

"You haven't seen true happiness until you've looked into the face of a white person when The Cha Cha Slide comes on at a wedding."

"I'm not sure why my girlfriend called me a douche this morning... but I guess it explains why her sister smelled so much better after I finished banging her last night credit: /u/thehofstetter"

"What is every bodybuilder's favorite city? Gainsboro."

"The reason why Scientology can't be a religion? There are no 1,000,000 people that died because of Scientology."

"""Sir you can't bring your dog onto the plane"" [labradoodle puts on tiny pilot hat] ""Omg captain I'm so sorry"""

"Where should you go if you lost a corner? To the Eagles, they can get corner-backs."

"That rabbi's gone crazy! He's been running around a circumcising all kinds of lettuce... and that's just the tip of the iceberg."

"why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? to get to the same side."

"Light is useful It helps us 'c' things."

"Astronomers have used liquid water as an indicator for planet habitability... ...they might also need to add whether the planet has a Trump elected as president"